Renewable energy: "Sun, Wine, Chinese"

These are the kinds of things my students email me:

“stay and sleep

my father want to know you.

I want you help my sister and help my biology.”

Stay [at my house] and sleep my father want to know you. Draw your own conclusions about my life. And about Thai sleeping boundaries. (To clear her name, this particular student would be absolutely mortified to know the connotations of her message. Plus, she’s already introduced me to her aunt and mom.)

When my aunt visited, we chilled with two little kids at the beach who were super anxious for us to meet their father. “He’s single [Paw bpen sote].”

 

Students obviously find it very embarrassing when their dads, after I respectfully wai them, joke that they’ll be my Thai boyfriend…this happens fairly often at the market.

There are so many unfortunate anecdotes along these lines…catch me in real time.

Things students write (spoiler: it does not reflect well on me):

On a quiz, I ask students to give 3 examples of renewable energy sources.

A student writes the following:

1) Sun

2) Wine

3) Chinese

I mean, I suppose she’s right; the Chinese do seem to be renewable energy/to be energized renewably. And wine is a biofuel...

 

I also ask students where 90% of the world’s energy comes from, intending for them to answer “fossil fuels”. One student answers, “Driving cars.” Yo yo yo that explains a lot; driving cars provides 90% of the world’s energy. No wonder we drive our big trucks.

In another biology class, students drew and described a food web for homework. I made them swear not to copy from their classmates or online translators. They think they’re tricky, but I know they did not independently pen the following description:

“Each ecosystem unit chain. A variety of different foods, and will. Concening the food web.  This is because the animals. Eating a variety of forms. The animals they have diffent roles. In the food chain. In addition, a form of cannibalism is the link. Ecosystems together. All life on earth is related in nature. The food is large”

I learned an important fact: The food is large, people, the food is large.

Another popular version (because a few students do the “work” (google translate), and the rest blindly copy:

“Rice is producercin the ecosystem can be several types of consumer air either cow grasshopper birds and bees and the consumer. No’1, they can be victims of other animals a well as chicken can be consumed the grasshopper at the sometime. I got the chance to be a snake. Consumption as well.”

 WAIT! You got the chance to be a snake? I want the chance to be a snake!

Last week, parents rotated in for “open house” on Thursday and Friday during the day. I introduced myself to all the groups of parents (this happened last semester as well). Then P’Darak, a senior teacher, added a 10-minute speech about me at each open house and concluded by telling the parents I like to eat durian.

I mean, it is true to an extent. I like to eat durian to prove to people in the ‘Dit how legit I am. I like to eat durian for show. But, dear parents of the ‘Dit, I do not need you to send durians to school for me.

 

Speaking of which, the ‘Dit hosted its annual durian festival last week, but unfortunately, I couldn’t make it out there. Fortunately, many people educate me about the durian. The local preschool teacher drew me straight-up diagrams under her rabbit lesson plan.

• I know the main 4 species, and that 2 of the 4 are ‘Dit-specific. 
• The ‘Dit is the world’s largest durian producer. A massive durian statue, long-time readers will remember, pops a squat at one of the ‘Dit’s only 4-way intersections*.
• Durian trees flourish in the mountains, and LoongLaplae is a new hybridized durian with a more jaiyen scent. It’s expensive – approximately 140 baht per kilo, compared to the other species that are about 30 baht/kilo.

*The 4-way intersection is nowhere near my school. We don’t have intersections in Tambon Phajuk. If you only got one road, intersections are hard to come by.

Notes on Tambon Phajuk Zoo, aka my house:

The lizards laid eggs on my bed. Those sneaky reptiles waited ‘til I left for school. Thousands of ants came to eat the unhatched babies. I’m not sure if I’m angrier at the lizards or the ants. I feel like I should side with the mommy, but really? Laying your eggs on my bed was a stupid mothering decision.

Nong

Darlings, my most beautiful moment last week popped out of the blue while I absentmindedly listened to a roommate tell someone on the phone that she was out shopping with P'Ya and Nong farang. I am nong farang. A foreigner, but a nong nong in the Thai family. I find it occasionally difficult to be constantly called farang, and I don't know if it's possible to explain this feeling except that if you invest your entire being into a community, you at least want to be referred to by your name. You reach a point where you do not want to be constantly referred to as "foreigner" by the people you care about the most.

kappun ka P'Poong. chan rak koon. chan bpen nong farang.

My Nong nong

Some male students like to kiss my hand after luring me in on the pretense that they'd like to try to "shake it like an American."

 Tol, a Mattayom 5 (11th grade) student spends his time teaching me Laos while I teach him Spanish. He likes football so he's decided to ditch English and learn the Spanish words for "friend," "where's the bathroom?" "thank you", and "HOLA". I hope I taught 7-10 correctly, because I kinda guessed. I've already taught him all the words I know. Don't tell.

Another nong nong asked if he could be my little brother. Now he calls me P'Sow jing jing and follows me around asking when he can go to America and meet our other siblings. He's kept this up for 3 weeks now and it's presumably because he thinks that I'm friends with Taylor Swift and that I'll introduce him to Taylor so he can marry her.

Motorbike

I didn’t buy it; it found me. The school has an old one lying around and handed it over to me out of the blue. The bike isn’t in the best condition. But I do own a bicycle helmet, and I drove a couple times in Trang, though mai chai kondeow (not by myself). My football peeps thought teaching me to ride was hilarious. While I’m battling death/more scars, they crack themselves up: “Yim and motorcycle hahahahahahahahaha.” Several children flocked around and darted in front of me and clapped their hands and giggled and what kind of country is this people get out of my way if you are 5 years old cuz I don’t know what I’m doing!!!!!! People trust me an awful lot.

Tonight’s teacher, P’Boi, tries to explain the gear situation. Given the fact that we’re speaking Thai, I’m not sure about a few details, but driving a motorbike is pretty intuitive. P’Boi basically warns me not to shift into 3rd or 4th gear because I’m not good enough to drive fast. I protest, and he reminds me that “You don’t drive on the correct side of the street.”

Left side, left side, left side.

NYT

Some peeps forwarded the NYT article Thai Youth Seek a Fortune Away From the Farm, and I know you are worried about the plight of the rice now that the kiddos are flocking to the big cities. But let me assuage some of your fears and tell you that the reporter did not make it to the 'Dit. Here in the 'Dit, we send plenty of kids into the fields. "Part of the solution" is the 'Dit's middle name.

On the other hand, many of my lower level Mattayom 3 (9th grade) students from last term had to leave school and work with their parents in Bangkok. Thai school is compulsory only up to Mattayom 3. One of these precious boys lives not so far from school and liked to cart me around on the back of my bike. I probs have a picture of him at a wat on my blog from around February. He's now working with his mom in a Bangkok factory.

Other students transferred to a technical school in Uttaradit town where they can focus on learning different trades (mechanics is a popular track).

Only about 15-30 students went on to college this year.

I was a bit ambivalent about reading the article, understanding that my students don't often have the opportunity to move out unless it means a factory job. Our rice fields flourish. A trend is a trend, but the 'Dit remains the 'Dit.